How Hypnosis and NLP have Sweetened my Marriage
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My hubby and I were reflecting on a particular incident this morning which led to noticing other experiences we had that had the same repetitive and destructive behaviour throughout our marriage.
No matter how hard we tried to change the conversation, the more frustrated we became with one another. I never felt heard, appreciated, or understood. And I thought: “Does he really love me? Does he really care?”
Looking back, I realize that the way in which he used to respond and the way I used to respond, had good intentions behind all of it. I loved him, he loved me, and we simply wanted to help one another. We desired to take the other’s pain away and make life better.
A big missing piece for us was that we didn’t know how to step into the other person’s views and beliefs about the world. We could only see and understand our own perceptions and then wondered why and how on earth the other person could feel and think that way. And so, it was an endless battle of hearing the same thing at the end of our more serious discussions of “That’s not what I meant! You just don’t understand!”
Now my hubby and I can get into a place and space of getting out of our own perceptions, and be curious about the other’s. We notice how they’re feeling, how they are viewing the world, and what kind of ideas they are perceiving the situation in.
My hubby and I know how to match one another’s energies, and then bring the situation around to guiding the other to a place of leveling and being honest with what the underlying intention is and being ok with it, and then decide what other possibilities there are in going and growing through those types of situations.
Instead of blaming one another for how the other one is feeling or thinking about something, we can simply allow them to go through what they need to. The judgment, rules, and misplaced expectations we had burdened one another with, is something of the past.
Grace, kindness, forgiveness, and love are now what we choose in, and for. one another. And it’s ok to be messy! We laugh more! We flirt more! We feel like a team! And to top it off, the way that we can truly help one another when life is messy, because life is messy, brings a space into our home where our 2 boys can see, hear, and feel the freedom that they so deserve to have.
