What motivates you toward pleasure? How are you chasing after your goals?

Or is something chasing you? Is it dark and sinister?

I love the workout programs that I follow for one of the following reasons…the inspirational mindset and the TRUTHS in what they say has been something that has become such a huge part of my life and the way I choose to look at experiences.

I have also discovered over the past year, that I wasn’t aware of my own patterns both useful and un-useful, and how they were actually interfering with how I could live a more balanced life.

One of the behaviours and mindsets I have learned that is a positive, resourceful one to have, is that I am confident in the gym space. I have good knowledge of what makes up for consistent fitness levels, good form, what exercises work well for weight maintenance, etc. I have learned and discovered, that I am also confident in the classroom as a teacher.

I learned that I WASN’T confident when having to provide evidence of a learning process. Or when I was presenting in front of people, or when I was going to a social event and having to talk with people I didn’t know or barely knew. I even lacked confidence when I was with family, and in my own home. I didn’t feel as good as or good enough.

I was scared of rejection and embarrassment. When my thoughts or ideas, beliefs or values were questioned or challenged, I thought there was something wrong with me, or that I needed to prove myself even more by trying to persuade the other person over to what and how I perceived the world around me.

Whew! It was exhausting!

When I was asked the question of “Hey Tawnya, I wonder when you will simply feel comfortable in your own skin?” It was like another part of me could let go of trying so hard to prove my self worth to people, and simply just be me. And…it gave me permission to just be messy.

I could finally let go of beating myself up for the idea of whether I was right or wrong, good or bad. And now I can simply be.

I have times where I slip back into old thinking patterns where I get in my head about the “woulda, shoulda, coulda,” but I can recognize it so much more quickly and shift my mindset, mood, and attitude.

I now CHOOSE how I navigate through the negative self-sabotaging mindset and behaviour, in order to get to a more useful state where I can get to my outcome of joy, connection, satisfaction, etc…that much more quickly.

It’s amazing to discover that because of letting go of my own inner critic, the old judgy, finger-pointing way of being, how I enjoy being with people that much more because I’ve let go of the judgy, finger-pointing, blaming way I was toward other people!

I didn’t even realize I was doing it, but there it was!

I have tools that I use to get to that space and I am so thankful for being able to use these tools!

And it makes getting to a better place way easier and quicker, than my old way of trying to sort through all of the things, like I used to do!!

Glad I can let go of that stinky old garbage!

And I’m looking forward to what more I will learn and discover in and through this new year coming! I wonder how much I will grow? I wonder where this journey and adventure of discovering and curiosity will take me?

Oh the places I’ll go!!”